You're going to sing in public for the first time. You feel the nerves kicking in, your heart is racing, palms sweating, knees trembling. Then you remember what you learned in your lessons: you don't have to fix any of that. Those feelings are helping you, giving you energy to sing, letting you know that you care about what you're going to do and making it all but guaranteed that you'll learn something deeper about yourself after this experience.

The key here, is that instead of trying to feel better, you learned to get better at feeling. You learned to Feel, Better.  Instead of viewing your voice or your feelings (and probably yourself by association) as a problem/(s) that needs to be fixed, you've developed the skills to really feel how your body is experiencing a particular emotion...and how to do what matters to you without either spending all of your time trying to control your emotions and the physical feelings that show up with those, or letting them take control of you. Don't worry, this ain't therapy, this is the skill of sharing your voice, be it with friends, performing for strangers or recording yourself for the first time.

Singing involves breathing. Your breathing is affected by your emotion, but you can also choose how to breathe. So when you're challenging yourself through developing your singing, you're setting yourself up to grow in how you make room for your emotions, how you express yourself and how you do what matters. It's practically baked in.

Every day in lessons, this is what we're learning. You can sing by yourself in the shower when no one is home, yes, this is usually fun, yet it's in lessons, performing, collaborating that you really see how singing gives you a chance to practice expressing yourself in a way that neither denies nor is overtaken by your feelings. Here's an example:

One of the first things you may forget when you're put on the spot to sing...is to simply breathe. If you feel the nerves kicking in, you might want to grasp for a sense of control...by holding your breath. To be clear, you are your own special snowflake, so in lessons I've seen all kinds of things different from holding your breath, this is just one example.

So what happens when you notice that? You notice that you're holding your breath, you've had this revealed to you in lessons and you remember to breathe. Now you still have all the same feelings you had before, but this time all that energy present in those feelings can help fuel your singing (by allowing air to move through you!) instead of halt your singing (it's very hard to sing without oxygen, at least I've noticed this so far).

Now to actually have noticed this though, you would have needed to get better at feeling. You would need to have had practiced sensing your breathing in all kinds of situations (the Glorious Morning Voice Track is just one example of dynamic, adaptable breathing) and had someone you've sung for, someone in your corner who's been there with you but also can reveal to you all the ways you can get better at feeling how your are breathing and therefore singing.

There are all kinds of ways to try to make yourself feel better: chocolate, naps, avoiding challenging yourself. Most of us have got that in the bag. Sometimes though, feeling better is not really what you need. Sometimes you need to get better at feeling. To Feel, Better.

You'll find that sometimes, you can't actually feel better. When you experience a loss, you'll need to mourn. You do however, always have the chance to fully feel your feelings and this will be easier and work better for you if you've practiced getting better at feeling. 

I've made the track below as little step towards singing better and getting better at feeling how you're breathing. So when you're holding your breath because you're about to take the leap and bravely sing for someone, or you're holding your breath because you've been very much in your head all day this track is for you. Have fun. 

Disclaimer: this track tends to be energizing, so avoid doing it right before bed 🙂 

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