Have you ever had the experience of singing something by yourself, then you get in front of someone…and you can’t sing it the same way? I hear this often with beginning singers “why can’t I sing in front of people the way I sing when I’m alone?”. 

When you sing alone, it might seem like you know how to access that part of your voice. When nerves show up though, it quickly reveals that there is a lot more happening under the surface…and that mysterious place is highly influenced by your feelings. 

You can sense what changes though…and as you sense more and more, your singing not only “shows up for you” the way it does when you’re alone, but you can sense yourself more…how you change yourself once you’re with someone else. 

This reminds me of being on a first date…suddenly you’re not really feeling like you’re “being yourself” kind of awkward etc. The feelings of fear or what-have-you take the wheel. 

How can you stay yourself when you sing? 

Often when people come in for their first lessons or to learn how to sing, they are ready to hear how bad they are. They are expecting to be told what is wrong with their voice, and what things to fix, so that they can sing the correct way, which should supposedly give them more confidence in singing. 

Here’s the thing though: singing correctly doesn’t change the fact that when you sing for others, you never, truly know how they will react. You never know how you’ll be judged by others, in advance of taking the leap. So even if you “sing correctly”, it doesn’t mean you’ll feel any better about your singing. You may still be lost in pre-judging or trying to find assurance in the middle of your singing that you’re “doing it right”. 

There is another piece to this…and its that, the more you pay attention to things outside of you…

Like how people are reacting to your singing…

Like how you sound (which is the outward side effect of how you move on the inside)...

The less you’ll be feeling and sensing your own body as it makes sound. Since you are the musical instrument, the less you sense yourself, the less influence you have in how you sing. 

When you can explore your voice in a way that helps you stay in the moment, in the song, connected to yourself and how you’re feeling within singing, it helps you feel less concerned about how your singing sounds or how other people are reacting to your singing. When your awareness of yourself gets stronger and stronger, you’re able to enjoy the song and your voice, even when people are watching. It's counter-intuitive, but the more you care for your physical experience of singing over the sounds that other people hear, the better those sounds can become. 

So the more you feel yourself as you sing, the more likely you’ll sing like yourself. 

If you’d like to develop a more vivid map of your voice and what its like to know your voice and self more deeply, you can schedule a lesson or sign up for the online Feel Better, Sing Better class. 

The Feel Better Sing Better Class is now more convenient and affordable than ever before. The FBSB is an online class where you receive pre-recorded classes delivered to you twice a month, where you can explore your voice in new and surprising ways, at your convenience, with bonus 10min audio practice sessions to bring all that singing goodness into your daily life. Plus, you’ll get the first two classes to jumpstart your singing journey soon after you sign up. If you’d like to learn more or join, just reach out below 🙂 

"I came in expecting a singing session so the class was very unexpected and different as I have never had a lesson that asked the participant to get in touch with how the body and it's parts responded to the act of singing. I laughed at myself because it was unexpected but made so much sense when thinking of our voices as a unique instrument." 

Sabrina H. 

Feel Better, Sing Better Class Attendee